Belief vs Fact

In today’s homily the priest here at Fallbrook talked about Doubting Thomas.  But he said something that I hadn’t really thought about.  What if the “doubting” didn’t refer to Thomas, but instead to the other disciples.  Yes they saw Jesus in the flesh… but did they really believe it? If they truly believed that their Lord had risen… would they not
have spoken with enough conviction that would have convinced Thomas? The other 10 disciples also doubted.

With that said… Abby and I Do Not believe that we will have kids… but we DO believe that God with has the right plan for us… the perfect plan. image

Thy will be done

Well the Easter Triduum has come and gone… I was hoping to get this post up before then, unfortunately it just wasn’t meant to be.

For those of you that don’t know what the Easter Triduum is… its kind of like the Catholic Super Bowl (I stole that from Mark Hart – The Bible Geek).  It marks three of the most important days in the Catholic Christian faith…

1. Holy Thursday – a celebration of the Jewish Tradition of Passover… you know, when the Israelites were in the bondage of slavery and ate a sacrificed lamb as the angel of death passed over them and killed all first born males, unless their doortops were painted with the blood of the lamb… yeah… that day. Well this is also the day that Christ instituted the Eucharist during the Last Supper and gave himself up to the roman soldiers.

2. Good Friday – this is the day in which our Christ was crucified on the cross.  Little did everyone know… Jesus was defeating death… with DEATH.

3. Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday – when we celebrate the resurrection of the Son of God (not the son of man… that’s Tarzan).  This day usually results in really long lines for communion… some may find this annoying, but it really is a Joy to see non Sunday Catholics joining in the celebration of mass.

I was blessed enough to start my Easter Triduum with Holy Thursday Mass and Adoration.  Abby and I left Adoration early to attend to some personal matters, but I managed to sneak back at 11:00pm to spend one more hour with Jesus.  It was like I was at the garden of Gethsemane and Jesus asked me to just stay awake with him a little longer.  Our Parish Hall was still packed with the faithful… This gave me the moments I needed to put away my phone, computer, xbox, etc… and allow me to reflect on the journey Abby and I have been on for the past two years.  Two years of learning, understanding, accepting, sacrificing… “Not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42

Thy will be done.

April 2010… we had our first meeting with Marianne and curiosity sprang. It had been over a year into our marriage and Abby and I were lost.  We wanted to have a child, but it just wasn’t happening. Could this be the answer we were looking for? We had no idea that ours lives were about to be transformed. The different pills Abby would have to take… The shots I would have to give to her… The amount of emotional and spiritual strength it would take to get one step closer to achieving pregnancy.

Thy will be done.

May 2011… Abby took our next big step… Surgery or more specifically…a Laparoscopy, a Hysteroscopy, and a Hysterosalpingogram (I’ll explain this in a future post)… During our two hour drive down to our doctor, I remember receiving a call from Steve and Alma (Abby’s sister and brother in-law) and several text messages from friends and family saying that they were praying for us.  Abby and I nearly cried all the way to Fallbrook. We were so blessed to know that our family and friends were supporting us.

Thy will be done.

January 2012… “Your Estrogen and Progesterone Levels look great! and so does your chart!” said our doctor.  Abby was starting to have normal estrogen and progesterone levels and a normal looking cycle.  Our chart from when we first started this whole journey was nothing like the way it looks now.  It was like comparing night and day.  The proof was right in front of our eyes.  No, we weren’t pregnant, but just knowing and seeing the progress we’ve made brought us even more hope.  It was amazing!  It makes me smile right now just thinking about it.

Thy will be done.

April 2012… we are taking another step… and we are continuing to pray that God’s will is aligned with our hopes.

Thy will be done.
Thy will be done.
Thy will be done.

This was what I said throughout Adoration on Holy Thursday… it was all I could say. Abby and I are doing all things humanly possible to ensure the optimal chances that we will have kids of our own.  It is up to the Divine to do the rest.